A restaurant review

Every summer I gotta go to Big Bear. It’s a couple hours away from me, but I will get up and drive there to eat bacon-and-cheese waffles for breakfast at The Teddy Bear Restaurant, or to roam The Village for jewelry and boots.

I discovered this place when my husband had a three-day conference there on my birthday years ago. I tagged along, intending to stay in the hotel, as I always do when he has a conference. I spend his conferences in the tub with a book.

We stayed at the Northwoods Resort, which borders The Village. I wandered out looking for breakfast and found a row of small businesses that could have been planned for me as a birthday surprise.

First there was a bath shop. I bought bath oils, bath beads, soaps and lotions. These are my favorite things — right up there with chocolate and books.

Then I looked down the street and saw several coffeehouses and chocolatiers. There were three bookstores, too. I may have cried.

After a quick morning buying myself gifts, I climbed into my oiled bath with a novel and some tri-tip. An hour later I was by the fire with red wine and chocolate-dipped things like strawberries and pretzels. It was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.

My husband returned to find a wife with a totally balanced chi.

My husband had this conference every August for a few years, but last year there was nothing. It was gone, and it wasn’t coming back. We went up on our own twice. I just needed to smell the place.

Today I couldn’t stand it. I’ve been missing that town so much I can’t concentrate, so at 1 p.m. I put the kids in the car and went.

About 4 o’clock we walked past a small, tucked-back door that said “Pizzeria.” I was Book-and-Bean bound, and didn’t give a fig about the pizzeria, but I noted that I didn’t remember seeing it there before.

Then around 5 the kids got hungry. They said they had a craving for pizza. I was surprised by this, because we almost never eat it. More surprising, they were both in the mood for the same thing.

I’ve been experimenting with some new recipes. Last night we had pita, stuffed with vegetables, chicken and cantalope and topped with a tarragon mayonnaise. I guess I understand why they were in accord.

So I pointed them toward the doorway I’d noticed. It was Saucy Mama’s Pizza. We walked past some umbrellaed tables in the narrow space between two buildings, and entered the place, which was mostly behind an ice-cream and fudge parlor.

It had a great atmosphere. I love a pizzeria with red-checkered tablecloths. A guy was tossing a big circle of dough in the air. We chose the table with tall stools.

My daughter ordered a vegetable calzone, and my son and I split a Hawaiian Delight pizza, which had Canadian bacon, pineapple and regular bacon chunks on it.

I have rambled on all this time to get to this sentence: This was the best pizza I have ever eaten in my life.

We packed up half the calzone and two slices of pizza for Daddy. My son and I almost wept, denying ourselves those last two slices.

Back at home, we presented the food to my husband like begging dogs at his feet.

He shook his head at us, “I can’t believe it’s as good as you guys are saying. It’s just pizza. You three have built it up so much, there’s no food can live up to your description.”

He bent over his plate and took a bite. Then he looked up, met my eyes, and nodded.

“Oh my God.”

The kids and I started cheering and hugging. We were crazed with the greatness of this food.

Then the dam broke, and my husband would not shut up. “The crust is sublime. These people must be from New York. This sauce is fantastic….”

So there it is, my first post as an amateur food critic. Get on a plane, wherever you are, and fly here so you can eat at Saucy Mama’s Pizza.

If you want my family to sit at your feet and watch you take your first bite, we’ll be happy to make the drive up the mountain.


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10 Responses to “A restaurant review”

  1. Gunky Says:

    big bear is way less than a couple of hours from you.
    or do you drive very slowly?

  2. JeremyA Says:

    Well I just tried my first Chicago pizza in Chicago on the 29th and I think its hard to beat that.

    …But if you insist, I’ll have a medium pizza w/ pineapple, bell pepper, and extra cheese.

  3. roberto Says:

    I’ve discovered that on Facebook, if you want to get more comments than usual, post something about food.

  4. roberto Says:

    If it’s as good as you say, open a franchise in your town.

  5. T. Says:

    Not every business is a corporation, silly. Saucy Mama’s is run by a couple — unlikely to share their recipe secrets. Further, I don’t know a thing about running a business and even less about tossing pizza dough. Furthermore, I don’t have time to open a restaurant. I have a full-time job.
    Here’s my hidden announcement, for my serious followers to find: I’m done with subbing forever, and back in the newsroom.
    Today was my first day.

  6. T. Says:

    What I meant was, thank you!
    I am tired and snotty.
    Actually, I would have loved to have been able to do it.

  7. T. Says:

    actually, rob, i’ve discovered there’s nothing like a refrigerator handle up a little boy’s ass to get the comments flowing.

  8. Rosamaria Says:

    I’ve got a very flexible schedule this summer. When can I come with you? Rosemary, RUCC

  9. The purse « Stories O’ Mine Says:

    […] By T. My daughter lost her wallet after we went to Big Bear last weekend to eat at Saucy Mama’s. This morning on the way to school she said she found it, and I told her about the time I lost […]

  10. The purse « Stories O' Mine Says:

    […] My daughter lost her wallet after we went to Big Bear last weekend to eat at Saucy Mama’s. […]

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