Daddyisms

In honor of Fathers Day I offer you the benefit of my dad’s words:

  • It’s not cold; you’re cold.
  • Turn it down. (He now has a surround sound system I can hear at my house with my own TV on.) (I’m exaggerating.)
  • Speeding isn’t as big a deal as not being the fastest one on the freeway.
  • Don’t breathe when you swallow. (He offers this when people are choking. He’s helpful.)
  • and my favorite, You can’t order what I’m ordering. If we were all going to eat the same thing we could have stayed home, (because identical meals prepare themselves…).

These, of course, are in addition to the classics. I apparently spent my childhood trying to air condition the entire neighborhood.

And yes, I have heard each of these from my own mouth since I became a parent.

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2 Responses to “Daddyisms”

  1. roberto Says:

    >If we were all going to eat the same thing we could have stayed home, (because identical meals prepare themselves…).

    LOL!

    When I go out for breakfast, I feel strongly obliged to order something like waffles. I figure if I order fried eggs, I could have stayed at home and made breakfast there.

  2. T. Says:

    rob, thanks for turning me on to S**t my dad says. I pre-ordered the book for what we refer to as the boys’ pooping bathroom, and now doug and hunter are always coming out of there laughing and quoting it.

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