The fart story

Twenty-three years ago Mike and I were in a dark liquor store, waiting for our friend Hairy Gary to lock up.

Gary was a good-looking guy Mike had met lifeguarding, I think. He had more body hair than any human I’d ever seen.

In fact, about seven years ago I was at the grocery store and I caught a glimpse of a guy behind me in line. I couldn’t believe I’d seen as much hair as I thought I did, so I turned again and pretended I was looking for someone, so I could see if that really was a rug peeking out the neckhole of that tank top and covering the shoulders of that shopper.

It was, and it was a reunion with Mike’s old pal.

This is not germaine to my story.

So Hairy Gary was waiting for Mike and me to walk through the liquor store door, so he could lock it. As I went by, I leaked some gas.

It was silent, but Gary noticed. He said, “Mike, did you fart?”

I was mortified. I was about to be obviously lying.

But Mike just made an impatient expression and said, “Yeah, Gary, I farted. Are we leaving or not?”

I loved Mike at that moment. Only a true friend takes the blame for your farts.

I was deeply appreciative, and still thinking about it in the car as we headed to the bar. I started laughing.

Mike was totally irritated after waiting so long for Gary to get off work. He said, “What?”

I promised to tell him one day.

Twenty-three years I remembered this promise. Now I’ve made good.

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One Response to “The fart story”

  1. The highway accident « Stories O' Mine Says:

    […] a month ago I noticed all my stories were gross. Within about 10 days there was a fart, a booger, body odor, a dripping breast and an anal impalement. I could see the theme happening; […]

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