Hall passes

I’ve had a couple of e-mails from people who read my ‘About T’ page, wondering about the hall passes.

Some don’t understand them. Some wonder why halfway through the year I went from Jon Stewart to Jon Stewart and Matt Dillon.

‘The point of a hall pass is to have only one,’ they say.

I will clarify everything.

A hall pass is license to be unfaithful to your spouse if a specified celebrity of unnatural hotness knocks on your door and offers his body.

My cousin got married this summer. She declared Johnny Depp her hall pass. My mother has called dibbs on Hugh Laurie. Good choices all around.

While we were having this conversation, I considered my husband and his hall pass, Salma Hayek. It occurred to me that he doesn’t need a hall pass.

So I took his.

Does that clear everything up?

5 Responses to “Hall passes”

  1. Julia Says:

    Mine would be Ewan McGreggor. Tell your daughter he is mine. I will fight her. 🙂

  2. T. Says:

    No hall passes until you’re married.
    Little girls don’t get to say yes when bodies are offered to them anyway.
    You get no hall pass.
    You get no Ewan McGreggor.

  3. Julia Says:

    I mean in the future anyways.
    Its like imagining what your wedding dress will look like.

  4. Jeremy A. Says:

    “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today. ”
    -James Dean

  5. Myles Says:

    I literally laughed out loud when I read the fifth paragraph.

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