Beatle George has an 8-year-old son. They were over for Monday Night Football tonight.

My son discovered with an outburst that the child has never seen Jaws.

How does this happen? I’ve insisted George bring the boy to me Wednesday so I can fix him.

To my mind, 4 is the right age for Jaws watchin’.

This decision came by happenstance. Uncle Jer and I were upstairs in the Boulder house, flipping through the channels on a Saturday afternoon, when we saw that the movie was about to start.

We looked at each other with excitement. “Pop some corn!”

Then my son wandered in.

Badda bing badda boom. Four was the right age.

We initiated him carefully. We told him what to expect. “Hear the music? That means you’ll see some red spots in the water. Here’s a scary part.”

Then I couldn’t wait for The Baby to turn 4. I stood by the set with the unpopped corn counting down the days from her third birthday.

We had left Uncle Jer behind in Colorado, but acquired the flick on VHS. My son and I popped corn and brought her into the club.

Now it’s Bennett’s turn. 

My kids know the routine by now. We’ll pop the corn, give the warnings, and as one, we’ll shout, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat!”

I’m thinkin’ since the kid’s 8, we’ll have to watch it twice.


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4 Responses to “Jaws”

  1. Julia Says:

    I, actually have never seen Jaws either. I’ve always been afraid to…

  2. Will Says:

    I’ve only seen parts, but I barely flinched in Alien and Aliens.

  3. Jeremy A. Says:

    I also haven’t seen Jaws (But its not because I’m not afraid to watch it).
    I do know bits and pieces of Jaws, but not the whole story.
    Someday I’ll know the whole story. Someday…

  4. roberto Says:

    I like to prop 4 year olds in front of the TV with those spreaders that hold their eyelids open ala Clockwork Orange, feed them popcorn laced with mescaline and make them watch The Excorcist, telling them “this is what Catholics believe”.

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