Stats

My son and I just read through all of the stories in the My Son category. My old stories are so much better than my latest ones.

From there I clicked on the Top Posts button I have backstage here, to see what posts have been read the most.

The numbers surprised me.

Of my 313 posts, The Comma Argument is in first place. This is not even close to being my best post.

The recent A New Expression is tied for second with The Refrigerator Story. I understand why the Fridge made it so high. I wouldn’t be surprised to find other people telling the story on their own blogs.

Breaking up is one click behind those, but I accuse Miss Julia of pushing that number up singlehandedly. J’accuse, mon petite fromage.

Archery, possibly my favorite, is in fourth place, and Pets are Nasty rounds out the top five.

Some of my stories have high points because of hot words. For instance, My Mother-in-Law’s Story gets hit constantly. There has not been a day since I posted it that someone hasn’t Googled the words ‘naughty mother-in-law.’

Mike Tried to Get Me in a Catfight
enjoyed the same fame, because people worldwide are hungry to read anything with the word ‘catfight.’

The Special Day Class, which tied for the win in my best-post poll, ranks in the bottom third.

And most of the rest of the content from the Best of SO’M category sits below that.

There are posts I wish no one would read, because they’re just me complaining, like The Home Showing Disaster, The Favor Story, The Horrible Person and I was Dismissed from the PTA. These have more clicks than they should.

Only three people have clicked on Tormenting, but 25 have clicked on Pulp Fiction. I think that’s backward. Tormenting is a much better story.

And Even in Pain, I’m a Smartass joins The Mac n’ Cheese Story and six other worthier posts with one click each.

I can’t figure you guys out.

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8 Responses to “Stats”

  1. Julia Says:

    I’m in Français one….did you just call me your little cheese? Ah how I love you so. Je t’aime beaucoup.

  2. roberto Says:

    I see your only tag for the refrigerator story is “1958”. Pretty tame. That post would have had a lot more hits if you’d used the right tags.

    Now if you have a story about a naughty mother-in-law who ripped her anus falling on a refrigerator handle during a catfight, it would absolutely go viral.

  3. T. Says:

    au contraire. it’s in the family legends and prepare to cringe categories.

  4. Kevin Says:

    What about those of us who’ve read them all? Is there a medal, or perhaps cookies? 😉

  5. T. Says:

    there are absolutely cookies. watch your porch.

  6. Julia Says:

    Hey! That means I get cookies too!

  7. T. Says:

    Yes it does, my little cheese.

  8. T. Says:

    Found it:
    From “The Indians in the Lobby” episode of West Wing.

    BARTLET
    [snaps book close and removes glasses, pointing them towards Abbey] J’accuse! [stands]

    ABBEY
    [puts her hand to her forehead] Oh, brother.

    BARTLET
    J’accuse, mon petite fromage!

    ABBEY
    You speak four languages. How come none of them is French?

    BARTLET
    Nothing’s wrong with my French.

    ABBEY
    You just called me your little cheese.

    BARTLET
    [pause] That’s right!

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