To Hell with keeping it clean

My friend, the Dirty Old Man, is also an amateur stand-up comedian. He performed at my recent birthday party.

He really is too admirable for the moniker I’ve given him. Please read the name dripping with respect.

As he took the microphone, Scotchie yelled, “Keep it clean, Fred!”

Frown from Fred at Scotchie, then “Do you know why Jewish men are circumsized?”


He went to that mike to perform three times between tribute stories — most of which involved my mooning or flashing someone.

He kept my guests in stitches, even as they told how I don’t stay in mine.


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3 Responses to “To Hell with keeping it clean”

  1. Julia Says:

    It makes me very happy that he opens with a Jew-joke.

  2. fred bauman Says:

    For no extra charge here is the answer:
    Because Jewish women won’t touch anything that’s not 20 per cent off.
    But no more Jew Jokes. I now have a whole new routine about my Chinese girlfriend. Met her in a Chinese massage parlor. She rubbed me the Wong Way. That’s her name, Michele Wong. She is much younger than I, but we have a lot in common, she doesn’t speak English and I don’t speak Chinese. They say the Chinese are inscrutable. Believe me, this young lady is eminently scrutable. Sometimes her scrut is a lot more than my able……….etc. etc.
    Th-th-that’s all folks, for more you may have to wait for my next appearance at Toni’s barf and grill.

  3. T. Says:

    Oh my goodness, Fred. You are hilarious.
    I love you so.

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