Chicken breasts

I was sitting here trying to choose a story for today’s post when my e-mail dinged with a recipe from a friend of mine.

This is an act of generosity I can’t relate to. I’m terrible stingy with my recipes. I know they’re why I have friends. If everyone could make my Caribbean Jerk Chicken, no one would ever come over.

Miss Julia’s recipe gift uses chicken breasts, which gives me another opportunity to betray how linguistically anal retentive I am.

I don’t understand why we call them breasts. Chickens are birds. Only mammals have breasts…, and mermaids, but that rant has been made already.

Could we not call them chicken pecs?

My poor family has been hearing me whine about this for years. One day at my mom’s from the across the house I get this, “Mom! Mom! You gotta see this commercial. MOOOMMMMM!” They were all a-dither.

The TV liars said, “Chickens have thighs. Chickens have breasts.” Oh they did not just say that. “Chickens do not have nuggets.” Now they’re dissing nuggets? There is so much to hate about this commercial.

I just tried to hunt down this ad to link it to my post. The top six search results were arguments over whether chickens have nipples. People wrote: Of course they do, they have breasts don’t they? Duh!

Duh indeed.

Miss Julia, please know that when I print out your recipe, I’m crossing off the word ‘breasts’ and writing ‘pecs.’ But the term artichoke hearts can stay as is.

I will send you my Caribbean Jerk Chicken recipe.

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3 Responses to “Chicken breasts”

  1. Fred Bauman Says:

    Last Saturday evening I went to our nearest KFC to get a breast and thigh, original recipe, my favorite from the Colonel. Guess what they were out of? Chicken! Any and all kind of chicken. Can you believe it? Kentucky Fried Chickenshits!

  2. T. Says:

    Did you grill them about it?
    I’ll bet you were totally fried.
    I mean, were these people prepared, or were they just winging it?
    What peckers.

  3. Julia Says:

    I do hope you enjoy the recipe! And as far as chicken breasts go I agree. They don’t have breasts. We should make our own chicken comercial!
    And I am very proud that I have made it into your stories three times thusfar. I am honored. 🙂

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