I was on the phone with Boom Boom Saturday. I missed her daughter’s bridal shower last week because of a migraine.

She said, “You’ll never believe this.”

Let me give you some background first.

You may remember I worked at a ’50s dinner theater after high school, where I was the hula-hooping stunt singer, Chantilly Lace. I immediately became best friends and apartment mates with Boom Boom, and we hung out off-hours with Jughead, who was gay.

Moondoggie and Hot Lips were a couple, and Boom Boom was in love with Vinnie-Vinnie.

Hot Lips went to I-don’t-remember-where for like a month, and during that time Moondoggie and I became close.

We had to act regular when Hot Lips came back to town.

One night most of the cast was at Kitten’s apartment playing “I Never,” and I put my bottle to my lips at an imprudent time. The question had something to do with being with co-workers, and it was a small leap of logic for everyone to figure out I had intruded on Hot Lips’s territory.

She was a sweet girl and I should have been more ashamed at the time.

She dumped Moondoggie forthwith, and he and I were a couple publicly for a few months after that.

Meanwhile Boom Boom got pregnant with my goddaughter and Vinnie made scarce.

Saturday Boom Boom tells me her daughter tracked Vinnie down, and his ex-wife showed up to the bridal shower with her lesbian partner.

“We knew her once,” Boom Boom said. “Do you remember Hot Lips?

“Cuz she remembers you.”

She’ll be at the wedding. Nature is giving me an opportunity to apologize. I’m taking it.



One Response to “Scandals”

  1. Moondoggie Says:

    Haha – hilarious. Please tell Boom Boom I said hi. And OMG – Hot Lips being a lesbian makes so much sense given that NOTHING ever happened and after only two weeks she was talking marriage – ARGH!!!! However, your memory is a tad flawed. Not only did she leave for a month – to Texas – she never told me she was leaving. She also failed to mention that she had returned – a week prior to actually seeing her at work. I take that as a rude break up and did not constitute you and I as cheating – in any way shape or form.

    – Moondoggie

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