Mike tried to get me in a catfight

Michael is here, waiting for my husband to take him to a lavender festival. I asked him what story I should tell today, and this is what he chose.

As with all my Uncle Mike stories, this one starts with “Mike and I were in a bar.”

We were sitting at a table with a friend we called Meatball when Mike recognized a woman sitting on a barstool.

He hatched a plan, “Go over to that woman,” he told me, “and ask her if her name’s Teri. Then poke her in the chest and tell her you’re going to kick her ass. Tell her you heard she was sleeping with your boyfriend.”

OK.

Teri was Amazonian. She was an athlete.

I was 5 foot 2, under 100 pounds, and I wouldn’t know how to make a fist.

“Then turn and point to me. I’ll smile and wave, and she’ll think it’s funny,” Mike said.

OK.

I went up to her hulking self and narrowed my eyes.

“You Teri?” I had to tip my head up to see her nod.

“I heard you’ve been sleeping with my man, and I’m gonna kick your ass!”

I turned aside to gesture to the table. There was Meatball, sitting alone and waving. She didn’t know from Meatball.

Uh-oh.

Thank goodness Michael knew she wouldn’t take the bait.

She said dismissively, “I probably am.”

I could have killed Mike, because I could’ve been killed.

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3 Responses to “Mike tried to get me in a catfight”

  1. Mike Says:

    I think you could have taken her.

  2. T. Says:

    did you see anyone at the lavender festival you could take, mike?

  3. Stats « Stories O' Mine Says:

    […] since I posted it that someone hasn’t Googled the words ‘naughty mother-in-law.’ Mike Tried to Get Me in a Catfight enjoyed the same fame, because people worldwide are hungry to read anything with the word […]

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